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Published by BelovedLittleOne at March 5, 2019

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Bonding With Baby After C-Section – Successful Bonding Tips

After having a planned, but unwanted, c-section myself, I was confronted with fears, doubts and the question of how to bond with my little one. I got great tips from the medical staff, especially the midwifes, and have combined this knowledge with my own experiences, interviews with other moms and further research.

How do you successfully bond with a baby after a cesarean? Scientific research shows that a c-section makes bonding with a baby more difficult and increases the risk of postpartum depression. Successful bonding therefore requires more effort and the methods used for bonding after a vaginal birth need adaptations and variations.

The list below explains how to adapt the known bonding methods in more detail.

Detailed Description Of Adapted Bonding Tips That Work After A C-Section

No new bonding tips as such must be invented for moms who have had a c-section. But it is vital to understand that some of the most important existing ones need adaptations and variations in order to enable successful bonding between mom and baby.

First Skin Contact After The C-Section

The first full skin-to-skin contact directly after birth is one of the most important bonding factors. With a cesarean this will be postponed.

How much skin-to-skin contact you can have with your baby and when depends on three factors.

Type of cesarean
1. Epidural anesthetic – gentle cesarean: within minutes
1. Epidural anesthetic – common cesarean: up to approx. 50 min
1. General anesthetic: approx. 60 min to a few hours
Baby’s health (NICU stay): hours up to days
Mother’s health (ICU or HDU stay): hours up to days.

What type of c-section you have (conscious with epidural anesthesia or unconscious with general anesthetic) depends on your and your baby’s health.

Also, not every hospital offers so called gentle c-sections, where the newborn is placed on the mother’s chest while she is still in the operation room being stitched up. Depending on your baby’s health, a NICU stay might be required or your health may make an ICU or HDU stay necessary.

In most cases when you have a cesarean with an epidural anesthesia, full skin-to-skin contact can take place as soon as the uterus and abdominal incisions are stitched up. Skin-to-skin might be delayed for up to 50 minutes.

An emergency c-section which requires a general anesthetic will leave the new mother unconscious for about 60 minutes up to a few hours, depending on the hospital and the possibility of complications. Usually the newborn will be brought to the mother as soon as she is fully awake, and full-skin to-skin contact is possible about half an hour to a few hours after birth.

It is hard to give a realistic approximation of how long full skin-to-skin contact will be delayed and for how long at a time it can take place when the newborn and/or the mom are admitted to intensive care.

This really depends on the individual case and is unique for each mother and newborn. It may take a few short hours up to days before full skin-to-skin contact can take place. It is also possible that only limited skin-to-skin contact, like holding the hand or gently stroking the head or the belly of the little one, will be permitted by hospital staff.

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The best bonding tip I can give you is that even if full skin-to-skin contact, like holding your baby or placing the little one on your chest, is delayed, it will take place! Therefore, don’t be surprised, frustrated or anxious by the delay. Develop a positive attitude towards this posibility before you give birth.

Keep calm and know that your and your baby’s physical and mental health are the absolute priority of the medical staff and they will do their best to unite you with your baby as soon as possible.

It will also ease your mind and help you bond if you appoint a “mom-representative” before you give birth. This may be the father or another person whom you trust and who accompanies you to the delivery. Maybe someone who will play an important roll later in your little one’s life?

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Inform the medical staff beforehand that in the case of a c-section or any medical emergencies during delivery you want this appointed person to have the first full skin-to-skin contact with your baby while you are still in the OR or even in ICU or HDU.

It will help you to know that your baby is in safe and loving hands with a person you completely trust and appointed yourself. In the case that you come alone you can ask a nurse or midwife to do this; trust your gut feeling about who to ask.

Breastfeeding Tips After A Cesarean

The same principle of “postponed but not canceled” that applied to skin-to-skin contact also applies to breastfeeding after a c-section.

Breastfeeding is possible after a cesarean, but again it may require a little more effort and perseverance. Start nursing your baby as soon as possible. A delay of about an hour with respect to the first meal as well as the comfort of sucking your breast is a frustrating and uncomfortable situation for the newborn.

But the positive flipside of that coin is that the little one will be very hungry and even more eager to suck, which in turn helps the start of breastfeeding and milk production. Also, let the medical staff know that you are planning on breastfeeding so that painkillers and other medication can be chosen that won’t effect your little one.

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If your health doesn’t allow for it or if the little one is preterm, nursing may not be possible straight away. In this case, start pumping milk as soon as possible. Don’t give up even if there is nothing coming out at first. A baby sucking and a milk pump applying vacuum to your nipples are different things – and your body and brain know it. Keep at it and don’t give in.

Pump regularly for 10-15 minutes per breast – or for as long as is comfortable for you. Rest for about 1-2 hours (2-4 hours in the night) before you try again and drink nursing teas in between. Take a warm shower (if permitted) or put a warm hot-water bottle, bean bag or heat pack onto your breast.

This will help the milk duct to relax and widen, which in turn makes the milk flow more easily. Even if after a few attempts only a drop or two appear, celebrate it! Once the first steps are taken it usually only gets easier from then on.

Many babies don’t want to swap back from being bottle fed to being breast fed. In that case try to let them suck on your nipple every time before you give the bottle. Be patient and persistent! Don’t worry, or doubt that you are doing a great job and being a good mom.

You can also ask a nurse or midwife to show you different techniques and positions that make breastfeeding more comfortable and easier for your beloved little one and yourself. This will therefore create a more positive overall situation, which in turn will help with the nursing.

The Baby Honeymoon – Bonding In The First Week After A Cesarean

The first days after giving birth are elevating and extraordinary, but also exhausting. The body needs time to recover, everything is new, and the little family has to get to know each other. Feeding, carrying, soothing, washing the little one and changing the first diapers must be learned, whether you had a cesarean or not. Yet things are done a little differently after major surgery than after a vaginal birth, and that also effects bonding.

Many movements that come naturally and that a woman might do without even thinking twice about them suddenly turn into a challenging, slow and painful process. Instead of letting the motherly instincts flow and automatically focusing on, for example, picking the little one up for nursing or soothing, or carrying the baby and even changing diapers, you first have to deal with pain and the fact that not all your abdominal muscles are working yet.

With these tips it will be easier to not let negative impressions and emotions get to you. These can get in the way of bonding with your beloved little one.

Take. More. Time.

For everything you do, take the time it needs, and add a little extra. It is alright to take two minutes to get out of bed to stand up instead of 2 seconds. You are neither helpless nor uncaring, you are actually doing double the work by recovering AND taking care of your baby. Doing twice as much requires that you take more time to do it.

Feeding my baby boy in the stillness of the night was a very intimate and peaceful experience and helped our bonding a lot. But the trouble was, being in this comfortable, half-upright position I was not able to lift him off me again.

I tried to, but a sharp intense pain in my abdomen quickly made me change my mind. I therefore had to ask my husband or the nurses every single time to give him to me for feeding and to carefully place him in his cot right next to me when he was asleep again. Don’t feel inadequate and don’t be scared to ask for help – no matter what time it is. It is not a sign of weakness.

When the beloved little bundle is lying on your belly or being carried or having their diaper changed, it can happen that they try to stretch, crawl up you or kick. Although this is completely unintentional and usually looked upon with joy, it made me gasp and brought tears to my eyes a few times.

Unconsciously you therefore connect something that your baby does with an unpleasant memory and pain. That makes bonding more difficult.

Therefore, always try to avoid situations like that until all scars have healed well. Do you feel uncomfortable or insecure using a baby carrier or does it even hurt? Leave it be and try again a week later. Does your baby try to push themselves closer to your face when lying on your belly? Always have an arm ready to protect your abdomen or place the little one sideways so they kick into the crook of your arm. Is the diaper changing table at exactly the height of your scar? Put a firm yet comfortable pillow under your shirt before you change the diaper. You can also try to change the diaper with the little one on the floor, but to be honest that is also a challenging position in the beginning.

Sharing Is Caring – You Are Not Alone

This tip is often overlooked, but very helpful. Cesareans are no longer uncommon. In the US currently (as of 2017) 32,2 % of all women have a c-section (https://www.statista.com). Numbers are rising, and research shows a strong correlation between PPD (postpartum depression), troubles with bonding and cesarean delivery (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov). Sharing with other moms who had c-sections may be very helpful for you to find solutions to current troubles you are going through, or may simply lift a lot of weight off your shoulders.

Only a small percentage of all c-sections are patient-requested and planned for months. Usually the mother has a maximum of a few days’ down to just a few minutes’ notice before the cesarean is performed. Feelings of anxiety, denial, frustration, inadequacy, shock and disbelief are therefore not uncommon and can highly impact the process of bonding.

If you have applied all these tips over a period of time and still feel disconnected from your baby, it is likely that you are experiencing postpartum depression (PPD).

It is important for you to seek professional medical help as soon as possible. Only a healthy mom can take the best care of her baby; it is therefore vital that you get help in order to recover as quickly as possible and to develop a strong and healthy bond with your baby.

There is no shame in admitting that you need help.

There is also no shame in having a cesarean.

I wish you and your beloved little one all the best!

Do you have any questions? Or would you like to share your experiences? Please feel free to leave a comment!

Does having a c-section make it harder to breastfeed?

Having a cesarean does not rule out the ability of breastfeeding, but it can make it harder to get started. It depends on how soon the baby starts to nurse or how successfully you can start to pump milk as well as the overall health of mother and baby. Milk production may be delayed and many newborns have trouble switching from bottle back to breast.

How soon can I hold my baby after I have a c-section?

How soon the mother can hold her baby after a c-section depends on three factors.

Type of cesarean
- Epidural anesthetic – gentle cesarean: within minutes
- Epidural anesthetic – common cesarean: up to approx. 50 min
- General anesthetic: approx. 60 min up to a few hours
Bab’s health (NICU stay): hours up to days
Mother’s health (ICU or HDU stay): hours up to days.

Is a c-section traumatic for a baby?

Baby psychotherapists found that c-sections are a traumatic experience for babies. The babies can experience physical and emotional pain, anxiety, rage, loneliness and sadness during and after birth, which has immediate as well as long-term consequences. This can be seen in a higher rate of postpartum complications as well as a higher risk of autism, asthma and allergies.