How To Brush Baby’s Teeth Without A Fight

When my son was about 15 months old, he started to refuse having his teeth brushed. It quickly got to the point where he fought, screamed and cried; I was frustrated and devastated and close to giving up. My dentist advised me to force-brush his teeth while my husband held him down, and told me she did the same with her two kids. My stomach twisted at the thought and I began to search for different solutions.

What should you do when baby won’t let you brush the teeth? Pediatric dentists agree that regular brushing is vital for healthy teeth. Often brushing by force is advised as an alternative to not brushing at all. However, this undermines the parents’ relationship with the child and can result in painful or even traumatic experiences for the little one. Turning brushing into a positive activity is therefore important. In this article you’ll find 7 tips on how to accomplish that.

Having had bad teeth as a child myself and experiencing the consequences firsthand, it is of utmost importance to me to make sure my son’s teeth are healthy. I do not want to risk him losing his milk teeth early or going through the procedure of getting fillings. I therefore understand that many dentists advise to force-brush the teeth rather than not doing it at all. Yet the method isn’t in line with my parenting style, so different solutions were needed!

How To Get The Toothbrush Into Baby’s Mouth Without A Fight

Whenever parents need to hold their child’s arms down, clamp his or her head between their legs or arms and put their finger into the child’s mouth in order to keep it open so that they can somehow squeeze the toothbrush in, it is a sign that the child doesn’t trust the grown up.

When a child feels uncomfortable and closes their mouth or turns their head away, this should never be battled with pure force, nor should we rely on our physical superiority. This in turn will only create more distrust, will undermine the relationship and can cause emotional as well as physical pain, and turn into a traumatic experience.

This is a list of 7 things you can try when you either don’t want to step onto that particular battle ground or are sick of fighting your beloved little one.

(1) Positive Attitude

Try to see things from your little one’s perspective.

Ever filmed yourself fighting the toothbrush fight? It can be truly frightening to look into mommy’s face and see all of her expressions when she is mad, angry or frustrated, and to hear her speak (or even yell) in anything but a gentle tone.

Therefore, take some time and correct your attitude first! Do whatever it takes to calm down. Some things that work are yelling into a pillow, opening a window, and taking five deep and conscious breaths, leaving the room for a few moments, or taking turns with a partner.

Come back with a smile on your face, kind words and even praises for things that are done well. Believe that it is possible without a fight!

I understand that at night both you and the little one are tired and low on energy. But what will leave you with more energy and let your little one sleep sounder: fighting, forcing, threatening, yelling and screaming, or taking five more minutes to make you both smile and crack up and have a great time?

(2) Loving Perseverance

Speaking gently and having a positive attitude does not mean that you will give in and choose to not brush the teeth. Be persistent – try different ideas more than once and stay fair and friendly. It is important for the child to know that there are boundaries and limits and that those little pearls will be brushed – just without everyone getting emotional.

Sometimes it is necessary to use a sharp tone (I do too with my son), but this should never be done without warning, and it must be done very deliberately, consciously and without emotions. It must always be possible to be calm again in a fraction of a second. This way the grownup can show the child the boundaries, yet step down from a high intensity level very quickly and without an aftermath on both sides.

Forcing usually causes either resistance or the impulse to get away. When you have to hold the hands or arms, make sure you always use as little pressure as necessary, and let go or reduce pressure as soon as possible. This way you are guiding the little hands away more than actually holding them down.

Also, be as gentle as possible. The mouth and tongue are a very sensitive part of the body and before your little one can actually speak it is hard to know if something is hurting. Maybe there is a new tooth coming, the gum is sore, or the last bite of food was a little too warm and left the oral mucosa tender.

Being the role model and having them copy you is another great way of reaching your goals. Just brush your teeth (yes, really brush them the way you always do), don’t make a big deal out of it and have your little one watch you. Eventually they’ll want to do it too, and then you have a motivated toddler who can be guided and encouraged further.

If you have already come to a stalemate it might be worth letting things cool down and then trying a different route. This means that you’ll actively decide to not brush the teeth for a day or two and then start over afresh. At the same time it is important to not give any sugary, sweet juices or foods, don’t let your beloved little one have anything to eat just before they go to bed, and encourage them to drink water or herbal teas (unsweetened) after each meal to rinse the mouth.

(3) Fun Distraction

It surprises me again and again how often and how effectively distraction works.

It can be done by singing songs, or making fun faces and silly sounds.

Another method that works well is to show YouTube videos of what the child likes – maybe a certain character, cars or animals?

Usually toddlers and babies like to watch themselves. That can be done with a little mirror, or by showing them a video of themselves where they had fun, with which they have a positive association.

You don’t have a partner who can help? Try calling a person your little one loves and knows – maybe granny? Let them have fun video face-to-face-time. The person on the other end can also give vocal support.

Keeping your child’s hands busy is also a great way of distracting them – any object that is new to them or that they love works. Take the time to interact while they explore it – brushing teeth doesn’t have to be two minutes of uninterrupted scrubbing.

(4) Creative Attention

Sometimes distraction works wonders – but that can change the very next day when the little ones want to participate and explore every aspect of what you’re doing. Then it’s time to get creative and let your imagination run wild.

For example, make your beloved little one crack up first and then continue the game by “tickling” the teeth with the brush. Or maybe the brush is the car and the teeth the street (with nasty potholes that cause funny faces and sounds)? Or the train on the track?

Make a video of them brushing their teeth, make it fun and show it again the next day. Do they have a certain character they love and is there maybe a toothbrush song or story about that character? If not, create one! Make up a story, a song or a picture book.

Another great motivator is to give the little one responsibility by allowing them to chew on the brush and try to brush their teeth themselves.

(5) Right Tools

Ever tried to fix something and you didn’t have proper tools? Downright frustrating.

Try different types of brushes, like electric and non-electric ones, different brands and styles – all of them child-appropriate of course.

Another cause of resistance may be the taste of the toothpaste. Try different types or even tooth-oil or just plain water. What helped wonders with our son when he was teething and in no mood to open that little mouth was to use the teething gel as toothpaste. We’d show it to him and let him see that we put it on the toothbrush, then as if we’d said the magic words “open sesame” – that mouth was open wide!

Try whichever product you plan to use on yourself first (and I mean on your mouth, not your hand). That quickly made us turn down for good the idea of a cloth or gauze.

(6) Perfect Timing

The first rule of brushing is to keep it short and effective. It’s better to do little sections at a time than trying to brush all the teeth in one go. This also gives the little one time to swallow.

Often your baby might be happy when you start, but hardly ever lets you finish. Therefore, start with the most critical teeth first – the molars. Rotate the ones you start with. That way you can ensure that no side or section is neglected over time.

It also helps to play brushing teeth during the day. The more often toddlers see the same thing being done, the more likely they’ll accept it as a routine. Use toys or dolls to help. Make a game out of it (brush/tickle the arms and ask if that’s where the toothbrush is supposed to go), making sure that you have an identical yet separate and clean brush that you actually brush the teeth with.

(7) Different Location

A change of scenery may also work wonders. Brush in front of the mirror, in the bathtub, on the potty. When you’re outdoors brush on the beach, in the park or garden and after you’ve had a picnic.

I wish you and your beloved little one all the best and hope this article helped, motivated and inspired you! Did I miss some great ideas? Let me know and leave a comment!

How do you brush baby teeth correctly?

Apply a some toothpaste the size of a grain of rice onto the toothbrush. Start with the hard-to-reach areas (molar teeth). Place the toothbrush at a 45° angle on baby’s teeth. Gently move the brush in little circles or in an up-and-down motion. Brush the insides, outsides and occlusal  surfaces. Brush each surface four times and avoid thorough scrubbing.

When should toddlers start brushing their teeth?

Start as soon as the first tooth breaks through the gum. Be gentle and use a very soft brush designed especially for babies. No toothpaste is required until the baby is approx. 18 months old; then start using rice-sized up to maximum pea-sized amounts of no- or low-fluoride toothpaste.

When should baby go to the dentist for the first time?

The AAPD (American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry) advises  that a baby should be taken to the dentist by the age of 12 months, or 6 months after the first tooth has erupted. Also visit the dentist whenever baby’s teeth are showing stains or discolored patches. A regular check-up is recommended every 6 months.