How To Do Baby Daddy Bonding?

27 Things That Actually Work

Bonding with a baby is one of the most precious things you can experience in life. But at the same time becoming and being a parent is probably one of the most challenging times that you’ll ever go through. The joy of it can be buried in an avalanche of emotions, questions and insecurities.

Some of the scariest questions are: “Will I be able to love my baby? What if I can’t connect with the little one? What if I’m not a good dad?” Let me assure you: yes, you will, yes, you can and yes you are. How do I know? Because you are asking yourself those questions – and you are seeking answers to them. Here are 27 Daddy and Baby Bonding Tips that actually work.

(1) Skin Contact

Skin Contact is a great way to get to know and to connect with your little one. This does not only mean you in your underwear and a naked baby on your chest, this also includes face to face snuggling, holding hands or gently stroking your baby’s cheek or forehead.

(2) Singing or Humming

Do you have a favorite lullaby? Or a rock ballad? Go ahead and sing it. Now, I don’t mean going full volume right down a newborn’s ear, but a gentle tone or humming will get your beloved little one used to your voice and you can watch how they will try to focus and pay attention.

(3) Carrying

Baby slings come in all sorts of styles, shapes and colors. But actually you were given the best sling available: your arms and hands. Don’t be scared to use them. Have a nurse, midwife, doctor, your wife or your mother show you how to correctly carry and support your baby – and then go ahead and just do it.

(4) Feeding

When your significant other is breastfeeding, feelings of being inadequate and not able to take care of your little one can arise. Talk to your partner, maybe she can pump the milk and you can feed it in a bottle. Doing so may take some practice, but is not hard and actually quite fun. You’ll be surprised at the amounts they can gulp down – or is your little one rather the silent gourmet? Let’s find out!

(5) Taking Naps Together

Hardly anything is more relaxing than watching a tiny bundle fast sleep. Why not take the opportunity and put your beloved little one on a big flat surface and snuggle up right next to them? Hold their tiny fingers, put your head to theirs or maybe you feel comfortable enough to hug them? You don’t have to sleep yourself, but chances are that soon two people will be snoring peacefully. Just make sure you don’t fall asleep with your hand or arm on them, because it is probably too heavy.

(6) Go Outside For Walks

Depending on the weather and the area where you live, going for a quiet, short late evening walk might be just the thing that fully connects you to your baby. You don’t need to walk for hours (although great too) and it might just be worth trying to leave the push-chair at home.

(7) Taking Night Shifts

This is a great opportunity of not only strengthening your daddy baby bond, but also of making your spouse happy (yes, sleep is important to her!). Make sure you prepare everything you’ll need in advance (need more tips? Here’s How to Change a Poopy Diaper at Night).

(8) Soothing Baby

As a mom you often feel as if you’re the last resource, the last safety net or the last man standing. As a dad it may seem like you are taking a huge leap of faith but ask to be the one to sooth the little one this time. It’s extremely rewarding! Be patient and don’t expect a miraculous and instant noise and tears shut down. Be confident, gentle and calm – and proud when you succeed.

(9) Fun Times

Yes, fun times are allowed! Be the clown, play peek-a-boo, make funny faces and noises. Lie your little one down on your lap and move those tiny arms and legs (also good for helping the bowel movements). Let me give you a fair warning: not all of these fun things will work on a newborn, but after a few weeks and months they will put a huge smile on your little one’s face – and on yours too.

(10) Bath Times

Bath time can be scary. Taking off the diaper, holding the little one, managing water temperature and towels, drying the baby, diapering and dressing their tiny body again… You don’t have to do it all by yourself. You’ll see that in the beginning it’s just great to lend mom an extra pair of hands for all the tasks that need to be done, and later on you can confidently do it yourself. Here’s my guide to Bathing Baby in Tub: Enjoyable Step by Step Bath Procedure.

(11) Evening Ritual

Routines and rituals are great. They help you out when you are stuck and don’t know what to do next, they break long and exhausting stretches of a day down into little manageable steps. An evening ritual is a perfect opportunity to take weight off mom’s shoulders and spend quality time with your beloved little one after a long day’s work. That may be feeding, reading a story or just sum up your day, it can include bath time and diaper changing as well as putting baby to sleep.

(12) Changing Diapers

Let me assure you, it is manageable! My husband has an extremely weak stomach (the first thing he ordered when I told him I was pregnant was a nose clip – no kidding) and he changed a lot of diapers (mostly without the clip). If you are not sure what to do, ask your spouse to show you, but don’t be scared to take the plunge and do it all by yourself too.

(13) Massaging Baby

A massage is wonderful, relaxing and a very intense bonding time. Scared you’ll break something? Your hands are too rough? Don’t know how a massage works? Don’t worry! A little pressure is all right and babies will let you know if they don’t enjoy or want something. Apply some oil onto your hands before you massage and just gently stroke or make circular motions with your thumb on whatever body part is available. Still unsure or want to know more? Then read How To Do Ayurvedic Massage On A Newborn: Illustrated Guide and nothing can go wrong.

(14) Dancing

Try different rhythms and dance styles and find our what your beloved little one likes. A lot of babies like slower dances with some turns like Rumba, Slow Walz, Fox Trot or a slow version of the Quick Step. Are you embarrassed to dance, or have no clue how to? Swaying or stepping from side to side will be great too – and be assured that your beloved little one will not comment on your style, for as long as it’s comfy or fun.

(15) Watching Picture-Books or Reading

Again, this is something that will work for older babies, not necessarily for newborns. If a baby is too young yet to follow what you are showing them in a book or to pay attention to a short story it may be more rewarding to just talk or tell a story and keep eye-contact while doing so. But once they can follow be sure that story time will be one of their most favorite activities.

(16) One-on-one time

Precious one-on-one time doesn’t need to be a whole hour. Try to sneak in a few intense minutes a few times per day. Make sure that during these times you are not disturbed by your phone or a television. Try to do this regularly and every day. It is very rewarding and creates a strong bond between your beloved little one and you.

So adorable!

(17) Taking a Sick day

Yes, dads are also needed when babies are sick or teething! Be prepared that it will be a very intense and exhausting time. But walking through hard times together shapes and creates a strong bond between your child and yourself.

(18) Doing Household Duties

Once a baby has arrived two opposite trends take place regarding the household: first, you want your home to be even more clean and second, you automatically have more work to do. There will be more dishes, more clothes to wash, the bathroom wants cleaning more regularly and the garbage bins seem to be full all the time.

There are three ways to solve this and make baby, mommy and yourself happy: either do the household chores with your baby (sling carrier) or let your spouse do the household without the little one (some moms truly enjoy doing something not baby related when having the little one 24/7) or be the one who does the work without the baby.

Either way, talk about it with your significant other and find out what works best for her too.

(19) Do it Dad-Way

This might be the most important tip I can give you.

Many moms tend to hover and mean well by telling you ever tiny-weeny step that you have to take next. Make sure you listen and apply what is important, but then give her a long hug and a warm kiss and tell her that you’ve got it covered. Listen to her tips, but in the end, do it dad’s way. Your baby will enjoy it – and so will you.

(20) Relieve Pain

Relieving pains is a very strong way to bond. When a baby is still too small to do anything but cry to let you know that something isn’t right and hurts, dads are very much needed. Gently rub their tummies when they have the winds (gas), relieve tightness in their chests through burping them or let them chew on your (clean!) finger when they are teething. Be calm and comforting and let your beloved little one know, that you’re right there by their side.

(21) Mirror movements

For a newborn all sounds, images, movements, tastes and smells are new. By simply mirroring their movements and coos and consciously giving some quiet time (no phone, no television, no loud music) you allow them to take things in their own time. You are also giving your little one a precious chance to totally focus on you – and therefore bond with you.

(22) Talk to baby

Yes, it may feel quite awkward at first to talk to this little bundle. But why not start by whispering secrets into those tiny ears? Or by telling them what you feel or what you like or what makes you happy? Babies are very good at listening – and at keeping secrets too… Before you know it, it’ll be quite easy and the two of you will be chatting along.

(23) Sharing is Caring

This tip is an often overlooked, but extremely helpful one. Try to get in touch with other dads and spend time with them and their kids. Be honest and open and ask if they are struggling with some things as well. You might be surprised that basically, everyone has the same troubles. Soon you’ll feel better and even laugh about things you felt awkward about before. Important: leave your significant others at home.

(24) Watch Over Them

Take this advice in its twofold meaning. Watch over your little one and protect her or him, but also just watch. Watch and study your little one in silence. Take in the warmth, the smell, the softness of the skin the uniqueness. Know that you are the one your baby relies on, you are the one your baby trusts. You are the dad, and you are important.

(25) Taking paternity leave

The legal framework of taking paternity leave differs from country to country as well as from state to state if you’re in the US. Depending on your financial situation I strongly advise to take as much paternity leave as possible.

Every single dad who I interviewed and who took paternity leave said that although it was exhausting and challenging, but it was also the most rewarding and precious time they’ve had and that it immensely intensified the bond with their children.

(26) Keep a positive diary

Are you unsure if you are bonding? Why not keep a little diary in which you write down one positive or cute thing per day, that connects you and your beloved little one. What you write in it is meant for you and it will help to make that bonding process visible. It can be tiny things like: “Looked me in the eyes, rested head on my shoulder, took my finger, didn’t scream when I held her, fell asleep in my arms, has the cutest nose” etc.

(27) You are unique! Do The Things Mom Can’t Do

What do you do that mom can’t? Is it singing? Are you working out? Do you play an instrument or are you into photography? What is your profession? Do some brainstorming and I’m sure you’ll find a fun way to involve your beloved little one in a way that makes your relationship special and unique and helps you bond even more.

Bonding is not a one-time event and then it’s done. Bonding is a process and it’ll change and be different with each age-step.

Be flexible and find things that work for you. Be prepared that your beloved little one will grow and learn so much every week and month that the only constant thing you can rely on is this: change.

Have great times with your baby boy or baby girl!

How Can Dad Bond With Baby In The Womb?

Here are some tips on how dads can bond with their babies when they are still in the womb:

• Accompany moms to scans
• Read up on the development process and get informed
• Talk, sing or hum to the baby in the belly
• Put your hands on the belly and gently rub or put pressure on it
• Put your head/ear on the belly and listen
• Prepare baby’s room
• Help to shop for the first important things you’ll need after baby is born.

Why Is It Important For Dads To Bond With Their Babies?

Bonding with your baby is vitally important because it prevents postpartum depression. It is furthermore unlikely that a healthy relationship with the child will develop without any bonding. Bonding also intensifies the relationship with your significant other and thus reduces stress and helps prevent break-ups later on in the relationship.

How do babies recognize their fathers?

Since newborns have a blurry vision for the first few months after they are born, they strongly rely on their sense of hearing and smelling for recognizing their parents.

By talking or singing to the baby in the womb and by carrying and having a lot of skin contact and face to face contact after birth, the baby becomes familiar with the parents’ smell and will recognize father and mother.

Once the ability to see clearly develops babies also rely on their sight, which is why a drastic change in outward appearance (shaving off a beard or changing hairstyle) can confuse the child.